May 2011
10 posts
Other things I’ve consumed in makeshift contests:
An entire tray of kamikazes at the old Black Star bar (now Kabin) after my brother said I couldn’t do it.
A shot glass full of hot sauce at Red Room (now Abilene Bar) after friends suggested it could not be done without throwing up
A Double Gulp cup full of cheap keg beer (chugged) in some asshole’s backyard, just to prove I...
Mike Hoffman Of Long Island Wins Carnegie Deli... →
Are you kidding me? How did I miss this? In high school I won $40 in a makeshift pickle eating contest at a party. I ate an entire jar AND drank all the pickle juice. Represent, mofos.
Fuckety fuck fucks. I just stepped on a small cat turd with my bare foot. This was in the kitchen, right next to their food bowls. You would think the little idiots would be smart enough to not shit where they eat, but as we have learned over the years, my precious felines have no boundaries. A recent development over the past few weeks is that I can no longer see the ground very well over my big...
This morning I was on the uptown D train at West 4th Street when the conductor announced that we would be bypassing 34th Street and going straight to 42nd Street due to a police investigation at 34th. He then advised passengers who wanted to get to 34th Street to get off at 42nd and switch back to a downtown train to 34th.
As we swished through the empty and cordoned off 34th Street station...
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I’ve been knocked up for a little more than 25 weeks and I finally had a dream last night about giving birth. At last, my subconcious mind is on board!
Of course, in the dream I was in labor and I cried out “Owww, they’ve replaced my vagina with a dead woman’s vagina!”
I hereby nominate my dream-brain for the mother of the year award.
Mariah Carey named her kid Moroccan. He is named after the “top tier” of Carey’s New York City apartment, which is called the Moroccan Room because of its Moroccan decor.
Inspired by Mariah (as I often am), I have decided to add a few possibilities to my list of potential baby names which are based on rooms in my own New York City apartment.
1. The (One and Only) Closet...
