Ok, crafty ladies of the world — answer me this. What in god’s name is up with all the friggin’ flag bunting??
So I got this awesome pasta maker for Christmas. Even though I pretty much never cook, I really wanted one of these because when I DO actually cook, I really like the idea of making everything from scratch. Getting all pioneer lady on yo’ ass. You know? I made tomato sauce from scratch once (you know, like, not from a jar) and that was cool. So I thought to meself, what fun it would be to make the pasta, too! So I invited a couple of my hoochie mamas over next weekend to eat the fruits of my labor (err), and now I have to figure out how to use this thing.
The machine comes with a little instruction booklet and pasta recipes in ten languages. But the stupid English recipe is written in British! As in: “Ingredients: 500 g soft wheat flour.” Fuck that!
Also, please to explain the meaning of this. “Ingredients: 500 g soft wheat flour and 5 eggs; instead of using 5 eggs you can use a glass of natural mineral water.”
Is ”Big Balls” by AC/DC a better song for a first dance or for the recessional?
I have a LOT of crap on my mp3 player. For example, recently I’ve been assaulted by a fake version of The Humpty Dance (non-Digital Underground what the?), a klezmer band rocking out The Dreidle Song, and even Somewhere Out There (you know, the song from An American Tale). I never really understand how these things make it onto my iPod, but obviously I have to bear some of the responsibility for pressing download (I guess?).
Anyway, this morning my ears encountered something even more horrific than the aforementioned selections coming out of my own headphones. I was heading down into the subway and my hands were full, so I was forced to listen for a few minutes before I had a chance to change the song, all the while thinking WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP?! Before I had a chance to look it occurred to me: it was the fucking Glee soundtrack.
Ok, so Glee is a cute enough show and I’ve found myself semi sucked in to the madcap antics of those crazy kids and their Spanish teacher (and Sue Sylvester! She’s the best). But wow. Downloading the soundtrack is obviously something I did when I was drunk because I have no memory of doing this whatsoever, and just wow, what a bad, bad idea that was.
So while all you young folks are out there hooking up with your best friends’ girlfriends and flashing your boobies and barfing out of cabs and listening to Lady Gaga and whatever else it is you kids do these days when you’ve had too much booze, a word to the wise for the other oldies who are reading this…do not get drunk and download the Glee soundtrack. Not cool. Not cool at all.